Columbia, my Nauvoo

I have dreaded this post for a long time now. I'm not sure if I will be able to find the words to express all that I am feeling but since I am keeping this as a journal I feel like I should try. We've all heard the phrase, "you don't know how good you've got it, until you don't have it anymore". Well in this case, I feel like I do know and that is why leaving is so hard. One might think I am just hooked on Columbia, [(the hiking trails, university influence, the family friendly community with tons of activities, many of which are free, the school Jordan thrived at, library (no late fees), the dentist who generously thanks me for referrels, the pediatrician who enjoys working with children, the unforgettable doctor who makes personal home phone calls and genuinely listens and cares --is saddened by your loss of a baby, worries about necessary red flags, text messages the doctor on call to make sure your delivery went well and celebrates with you when you are having "your fourth!", no rush hour traffic, ] that makes me the think it is the best town in the world, but it's not the town…let me try to explain…

You might be surprised to know that I really didn't want to move here, but it is true. I didn't know why but I knew that this was where I was supposed to be. And so I came….never knowing that this would be the best place I have ever lived or how it would change me for the rest of my life.

It is here that I met my eternal companion and we have started raising a family. Yes, that in and by itself would explain my deep fond memories of this town. However, it is not all. (plus they are going with me)

You always hear that cliché that there is no greater gift than true friendship. Even when I write it I feel myself smiling at the overused quote knowing that even though it is true those words cannot begin to explain or make one "feel/understand" what it truly means. It's like trying to describe what salt tastes like….salt.

So even though I can't explain my blessings I will at least list them and perhaps if you have been blessed to have experienced them, you might begin to understand. In a conference talk recently Elder Eyring talked about writing down "how have I seen the hand of the Lord in my own or my family's life today". We started doing this around the dinner table before Dave left for his new job and unfortunately I haven't been as diligent but I have not forgotten all and will share a few of the countless ways we have been blessed: (some of these are more recent as we've been going through this adventure and some of these are just while we have lived in Columbia)

1.Friends who gives you rides (some safer than others haha)
2.Friends who gives your children rides so you don't have to go out (and some that even got a treat on the way home~ very generous)
3.Babysitting: not just the swapping kind, but the "not-keeping-track" times
4.Babysitting arranging: This means people actually call for you to get a babysitter-yes I can't believe it either…but truly doesn't that show the kind of people that I have been blessed to know? I mean seriously…so thoughtful that they don't want you to miss out because you don't have someone to watch the kids so they get a babysitter for you so you can't say no?
5.Meals: Yes, this is a pretty standard one after having a baby …but not 8 or 9 totally voluntary--not because they are your visiting teachers but because they want to OR how about for no reason (you're not sick, in the hospital, etc) OR how about when the person who is bringing a meal just had their own baby a few weeks before and you didn't take them a meal (humbling??--yeah, I would definitely say so) OR how about when the person bringing you a meal is providing enough food not just for you little family but all the extended family as well as they are visiting from out of town OR how about when the person who is bringing a meal or two or three…is on bedrest herself???
6.Calls from people going to the store willing to pick up something for you
7.Friends to help you in public places so you can go out (like at the park when the newborn wants to eat, the two yr.old wants you to hold them at the same time and is crying and then the 5 year old falls off the rocks and is now crying etc etc)
8.Friends who don't think you're a bad mom when #7 happens (at least they don’t' tell you if they are thinking thathaha)
9.Friends who call you and give you the news there is a "deal going on at…."
10.VT companions who encourage you to do better, not by their words but by their example.
11.Friends who forgive and forget when you say things you don't mean
12.Friends who have their family in town but brings you breakfast on your birthday anyway
13.The best visiting teacher I have ever had
14.Home teachers who bring lessons (and after they leave you ask--how did they know we needed that one?), bring lessons appropriate for kids (boxes) and who keep coming back despite the mad chaos and jungle gym tricks that happen each time they come. (despite the ever continual lesson/lecture: "we don't…..when they come")
15. Friends who spend hours taping new shows for you so your kids can survive the packing days.
16. Friends that help you stay healthy and exercise by spending several hours taping for you because you no longer go to the gym and because they understand it isn't always that easy.
17. Friends who keep you on the down-low with groovy music to scrub your toilets with hahahe
18. Friends who go shopping with you and help you not look so "nerdy"&"frumpy"
19. Friends that come to your moving day when you are 6 mo pregnant with a toilet scrubber ready to help you--not pack or move boxes, but to do the nitty gritty--clean!
20.Friends who eat your food despite where you grocery shop
21.Friends who love your children even when they are naughty.
22.Friends who give gentle and loving rebukeings 
23.Friends who show you who you want to be when you grow up
24. Friends who patiently walk you through projects step by step so you can do it right and it doesn't end up in the "unfinished projects" box at the top of your closet.
25.Friends who share their amazing (and funny) knowledge/tips/ideas/talents with you to help you become a better wife, mother, person: like home décor, interior design, organization, parenting, marriage relations, etc…
26. Friends who make you laugh so hard it hurts
27.Friends with good recipes and share them
28. Friends who share their testimony, which of course, strengthens yours; and not just over the pulpit but in everyday living
29. Friends who know you are having a bad day even when you are trying to hide it.
30. Friends who give you the courage to try new things
31.Friends who tell you to try again when you mess up
32.Friends who remind you of old talents and encourage you to find them again
33.Friends who make you want to be a better person

Is it any wonder why it isn't easy to leave this place? I mean really what can I say more? You may think I'm just being extreme or exaggerating but I'm not. And I have seen these amazing friends do these incredible things for so many different people. Little things…that make a big difference. Seriously, our compassionate service leader will learn of a concern but before she does, it has already been taken care of. I've never seen people give so much-- take care of others so well. It's like I've seen a little piece of heaven. No, it isn't perfect, but I don't know of anything closer.

So how do you thank the people who have changed your life for the better? How do explain to someone how much their little acts of kindness and love has affected you? To them it might seem so insignificant but you want them to know that for you, it meant everything. I guess I can't. I just honestly pray at night for each one of them, asking our loving Heavenly Father to bless them with things they need individually that I can not do that they might know how I am feeling but unable to explain. And even though it is ripping my heart out to leave, I thank Him too, because even though I wish I could stay, I had the opportunity (even if for a short time) to meet and know these "blessings".

If you are familiar with church history you know that the Saints came to Nauvoo in dire circumstances. They built a beautiful city where they experienced a lot of peace and happy times. Unfortunately they had to leave it not knowing exactly where they would be going but trusting in Him that knows all and going forward with faith. And so I will try to follow their example; mustering up some courage to go forward and trusting in His plan for me and my family, the next chapter of our story…